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February 25, 2009
Which is Why We Have the Suffix "Ish"
So this is the little light reading.
Wouldn't blame you if you thought I meant Twitter. But I'm serious. This stuff fascinates me.
I'm only on page three of the abstract though.
I got distracted. See, I was, in fact, pondring superlatives earlier. While doing such, memories of a college Philosophy course popped into my head.
In retrospect it should have come as no surprise how quickly I took to the subject of Logic. Even my professor was surprised at the speed with which I could complete truth tables.
But wait. It gets better. In addition to the cold hard facts, it was also highly useful to learn definitively that there are some questions that cannot be answered definitively.
And for me, this all boils down to the concept of a question being rightly put.
A man lights a match, and then blows it out. He asks, "Which way did the fire go? North, South, East, or West?
The answer is, the question is not rightly put.
All the above, input to my thoughts, which led me to the argument of the beard, which asks at what point does a beard become gray.
Hard to say.
Posted by Angela Tanner at 04:16 PM | Comments (0)
February 22, 2009
At the Intersection of Meat Loaf and Dave Matthews
I have rightly, previously, blamed one Mr. Dave Matthews for putting the idea of New Orleans in my head. Now I'm going to blame one Mr. Addy for making my head go round and round.
Meat Loaf for breakfast.
It's all coming back to me now.
Posted by Angela Tanner at 10:54 AM | Comments (0)
All By Self
So I set about getting my posts from Twitter to display here.
While it is far from rocket science, I am always apprehensive about pushing buttons on pondring's control panel. Maintenance-induced failures, don't you know.
I also know better than to do anything without making a backup first.
Bravery and recklessness often go hand in hand, however. I didn't make a backup. If anything went south then I'd be forced to tackle the problem and figure it out, as opposed to just undo it.
Lo and behold, it worked.
So there you are. Pondring to go. Typographical warts and all.
Posted by Angela Tanner at 10:21 AM | Comments (0)
February 21, 2009
A Penny Saved
Is a penny saved toward hiring Dave to play at my birthday party. But two bonuses earned from busting my ass last year got me there a whole lot faster.
I'm having a hard time using prudent in a sentence here.
Posted by Angela Tanner at 10:49 AM | Comments (0)
February 20, 2009
What The Hell, Man
Living in rhymes and laughing out loud
A face in my dreams that's a face in the crowd
Far too dramatic
I'll take it
Under advisement.
Overtly redundant I know
Blatantly obvious, and clearly, not at all called for.
Unconditionally embedded and plain to see
Hitherto unsolved, up in the air so to speak
Consistently lacking punctuation plainly magic.
Posted by Angela Tanner at 10:18 PM | Comments (0)
If She Weighs the Same as a Duck
No grammar check.
No spell check.
No problem.
Words, words, words, had you heard
And without further adieu
My mind starts to wander
Toward home
Pondring
Words as I roam
Words
I might have heard
Days before in another town
Close or far
Take them as they come
They come as they are
Bears repeating
Repeating what
I don't know - ask the bears
See if you take it out of context
That write they're
It may mean much of the wrong thing
Such is the song I sing
Words, words, words
That you may have heard before
Metaphoric therapy
And just the way they come to me
Twisted and turned
To suit the melody.
Posted by Angela Tanner at 08:33 PM | Comments (0)
East Bound and Down
No idea why that song is going through my head. But I figured it best to let it out.
So I was able to get an earlier flight out of Boston today. And when one is going to get home at the time one had planned to leave, well one doesn't mind riding in steerage.
The flight attendants don't make announcements when first class is boarding, and since I was close to the next one on the plane after that, I heard all of the announcements.
Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen and welcome aboard Delta flight [whatever] to Atlanta's Hartsfield Jackson International Airport. A few reminders as you are getting settled in. Each passenger is allowed two carry-on bags. We ask that you put your larger item in the overhead compartment, and your smaller item under the seat in front of you so that we may accommodate everyone's bags for our flight this afternoon.
This plane is equipped with extended overhead bins on the side of the plane with three seats. We ask that if you have brought a roll-aboard on board today that you place it into the overhead bin either wheels or handles first. This will allow us to accommodate all our passengers making this trip to Atlanta today, and we want to make sure we can accommodate everyone's bags.
For those of you seated in a bulkhead seat, this is a row of seats with a wall in front of it, all of your bags need to go in the overhead bin. The aisle in front of you must be completely clear, and you may not have anything beside, behind or resting on your feet. This includes purses.
If your bag will not fit, or you are having trouble finding room, please let a flight attendant know and we will be happy to check your bag through to your final destination.
Thank you and welcome aboard.
Two minutes later...
And once again good afternoon ladies and gentlemen. For those of you just joining us we would like to take this opportunity to welcome you on board today. We are ten minutes away from an on-time departure for our two hour and twenty minute flight to Atlanta's Hartsfield Jackson International Airport. We ask for your help in ensuring an on-time departure today. We ask that those of you in the aisles please step out of the aisle once you have found your seat to allow those passengers seated behind you to make their way to their seats.
For those of you with coats, we ask that you hang on to them until we have accommodated everyone's carry-on bags. We have a full flight and would like to accommodate all our passengers for our flight to Atlanta. Cell phones may be used while we are at the gate. Once the boarding door is closed it will be necessary for you to turn off all blackberries, blueberries, strawberries and any other berries you may have brought on board with you today. These need to be placed in the off position and may not be used on board at any time during our flight.
Once we have reached our cruising altitude, we will let you know when it is safe to use approved portable electronic devices. A list of approved portable electronic devices may be found in the Sky Magazine located in the seat-back pocket in front of you.
Minutes after that it was a repeat of BOTH previous announcements in some form or fashion…
And once again ladies and gentlemen…
Except this time we were five minutes until an on-time departure. I bet he said the full name of the Atlanta airport at least five times before we took off. Plus the requisite…
Prior to aircraft movement, all passengers must in their seats with seatbelts securely fastened, and baggage stowed, seat backs and tray tables in their fully locked and upright position. Window shades need to be open, and all electronic devices need to be placed in the off position and stowed for takeoff. Flight attendants will be coming through the aisles to answer any questions you may have and then must be seated for taxi and takeoff. Thank you and welcome on board.
Meanwhile, I’m in the window seat on the three-seat side, watching the plane fill up. And still the two seats beside me remained empty. Imagine my delight when they remained so after the boarding door was closed.
I moved to the aisle seat and stretched out. [Membership has its privileges.] Of course the closing of the boarding door triggers yet another announcement. Albeit it a short one, and sans fruit references.
Moments later as we push back from the gate, the safety stuff starts. All passengers are asked to pay close attention, even if we are frequent fliers.
No.
Because the chances are high that if a substantial change (in the design, function, or operation of the aircraft in general, or any component therein of which it was necessary for me to have carnal knowledge) had transpired since I last flew, an announcement would contain words unfamiliar, and my ears would pick it up right away.
Otherwise, paying attention is not going to result in any additional new information for my brain relative to the safety procedures or mine or your responsibilities on board this aircraft at any time. I am well aware of the location of the exits, and that the closest one may be behind me. I know how to operate a seat belt. I know where the life jackets are and how to use them. I know I cannot smoke anywhere on the plane. I know what I can, and cannot place in the on position while on board. I know where the seat-back pocket is. I know the Sky Magazine is mine to take with me if I wish. I know that if my Sky magazine has been written in, that I can ask a flight attendant for another one. I know where the passenger service unit is. I know how to operate the lights, the air vent, the flight attendant call button, and to press it again if I hit it by mistake, and that will turn it off. I know that the air bag may not fully inflate, and I know not to touch the dispensing unit.
Like fucking Pavlov’s dog I respond to the dings and bells and the landing gear going up and down. Your unnecessary verbosity and gross misuse of the English language perplex and annoy me.
Seems to me you could say one time, once everyone is on board, in a clear, deliberate voice what flight we are on and where we are going. Use the entire name of the airport if you feel you must, but really, once is enough.
For those that feel the insatiable urge to tell us where we are going [once again ladies and gentlemen], after we are already in the air, then in the name of all that is good and succinct, the city will suffice. Save syllables (Atlanta and Cincinnati both come to mind) and use your breath on more important matters, like pronouncing the city right.
And. Please. Stop. Starting. Every. Sentence. With. And.
Take a cue from Dave Matthews. “Hello again.” Then get on with it.
Here, or wherever your final destination may take you.
See. I let one song out and another one came in.
Thanks, Dave.
Posted by Angela Tanner at 06:19 PM | Comments (0)
February 14, 2009
Eight is a Lucky Number
So I should be feeling really fortunate that I have 888 emails in my work inbox.
Somehow, I'm not feeling the luck. I try to keep it less than 600 but I've been in a non-going-through-email-inbox funk for, oh, two weeks and thus the scary statistic.
Working for a big company means that I get a lot of system-generated messages. I could probably get the number down quite a bit if I tackled those first.
Two deleted.
Next one tells me my time sheet is late. Unfortunately the code I need to get it done is buried somewhere in the remaining 886 messages. That just doesn't seem right.
Also unfortunate is that the two emails after that one are just begging to be deleted, causing me to skip the one I really need to address just to get the number down to 884.
(This could take a while and be quite painful.)
I have taken to the Twitter thing as well. And if I didn't have so many emails to go through, I'd consider trying to figure out how to get the (are they called tweets or twits?) linked up here. That way my sister will know that I have not fallen off the face of the earth.
(I've thought about it, but unless I can come up with a way to overcome the gravity aspect, it's probably not going to happen.)
And it wouldn't be me if there were any other outcome to the cute guy I met in Japan story. We sent emails, then graduated to a phone call that was, I will admit, pretty pleasant.
Which of course just meant that in the next email he'd ask me whether it was hard to get a green card, and a comment that he needed employment, it didn't really matter doing what, and how is the market here where I live.
Cue Queen.
Right on time.
In other news, I bought John Grisham's new book Monday morning at the airport, and finished it before bed Monday night. I had two other books with me. I finished Code to Zero right as I landed home last night, and started The Hour I First Believed last night before bed.
(Loved that he apologized to his mom for the use of the four-letter words.)
I was talking to my mom earlier in the week and, for the first time I think in my life, used the word fucking in a sentence with her. In context, the phrase was "fucking delusional" but I'm not going to get into the rest of the story. I didn't miss a beat, she didn't react, and we continued the conversation.
(I'm 41. I don't think she's going to come at me with a bar of soap.)
I used to buy books all the time. And I kept the books I bought, whether there was any chance I'd read them again or not. Now I try not to buy so many books, unless they are First Editions. But I read too much, and go to the library too little. At least I've taken to giving the books away instead of hoarding them. Primarily because I don't have enough room on my bookshelf to keep them all. I don't want any more furniture, and I can't abide stacks of shit (sorry Mom) around my house.
Apparently stacks of emails pose me no serious problems.
(There is a reason I have a whole category for random musings.)
Posted by Angela Tanner at 09:55 AM | Comments (0)