October 22, 2009
Fly Away
Yesterday I got my work schedule for the rest of the year.
While it is certainly subject to change, at the moment I have to fly only one more time for work.
One. And that's this coming week. To the west coast. After that, all my classes are on-line. Which means teach from home.
That also means that between now and the end of the year, I will fly more for pleasure than for work. Unprecedented.
Yet totally sweet.
Posted by Angela Tanner at 07:08 AM | Comments (0)
July 17, 2009
The Out of Office Message
In mere hours I will be able to hit the confirm button.
"I will be out of the office, and unreachable, from July 20th until August 24th. I will NOT be checking email regularly or answering my cell phone. Please direct any urgent inquiries to my boss."
It might get wordsmithed before I send it. Then again it might not. Because it says exactly what it needs to say.
(My boss knows that I will answer his calls during the next several weeks. But I also know that he won't call unless he really needs something. I got a great boss.)
I'm kicking off my down time with a two-hour massage tomorrow morning.
(I didn't feel the need to include that extra bit of information in my away message."
And in other news, I went out to Delta last night to check Shea and my seat assignments for the overseas legs. While there I noticed an odd number in my account activity history.
Someone at Delta gave me a gift of 10,000 MQM - which are the miles that Delta tracks for elite status. It's as if they said, "No need to travel the rest of the year. Here's Platinum for 2010."
Say what you want about Delta. They treat me right so I give them all my business.
Time to drink more coffee and ponder more on my deck the birds and the wind and the gray skies.
Posted by Angela Tanner at 07:50 AM | Comments (0)
June 28, 2009
My AutoPilot Just Showed Up
With a smile on my face I say, "Seems like the bitch just left."
Posted by Angela Tanner at 12:30 PM | Comments (0)
June 25, 2009
Three Thousand and Some Words
Stevie Wonder is a hell of a nice guy. And the folks with him were very patient with all the people that asked for pictures.
It was cool.
And while I'm posting pictures, this is the photographic evidence of a previous post.
And while I'm still posting pictures, this is the view to the east out my back door.
It apparently still hasn't figured out how to post pictures.
Posted by Angela Tanner at 11:06 PM | Comments (0)
February 20, 2009
East Bound and Down
No idea why that song is going through my head. But I figured it best to let it out.
So I was able to get an earlier flight out of Boston today. And when one is going to get home at the time one had planned to leave, well one doesn't mind riding in steerage.
The flight attendants don't make announcements when first class is boarding, and since I was close to the next one on the plane after that, I heard all of the announcements.
Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen and welcome aboard Delta flight [whatever] to Atlanta's Hartsfield Jackson International Airport. A few reminders as you are getting settled in. Each passenger is allowed two carry-on bags. We ask that you put your larger item in the overhead compartment, and your smaller item under the seat in front of you so that we may accommodate everyone's bags for our flight this afternoon.
This plane is equipped with extended overhead bins on the side of the plane with three seats. We ask that if you have brought a roll-aboard on board today that you place it into the overhead bin either wheels or handles first. This will allow us to accommodate all our passengers making this trip to Atlanta today, and we want to make sure we can accommodate everyone's bags.
For those of you seated in a bulkhead seat, this is a row of seats with a wall in front of it, all of your bags need to go in the overhead bin. The aisle in front of you must be completely clear, and you may not have anything beside, behind or resting on your feet. This includes purses.
If your bag will not fit, or you are having trouble finding room, please let a flight attendant know and we will be happy to check your bag through to your final destination.
Thank you and welcome aboard.
Two minutes later...
And once again good afternoon ladies and gentlemen. For those of you just joining us we would like to take this opportunity to welcome you on board today. We are ten minutes away from an on-time departure for our two hour and twenty minute flight to Atlanta's Hartsfield Jackson International Airport. We ask for your help in ensuring an on-time departure today. We ask that those of you in the aisles please step out of the aisle once you have found your seat to allow those passengers seated behind you to make their way to their seats.
For those of you with coats, we ask that you hang on to them until we have accommodated everyone's carry-on bags. We have a full flight and would like to accommodate all our passengers for our flight to Atlanta. Cell phones may be used while we are at the gate. Once the boarding door is closed it will be necessary for you to turn off all blackberries, blueberries, strawberries and any other berries you may have brought on board with you today. These need to be placed in the off position and may not be used on board at any time during our flight.
Once we have reached our cruising altitude, we will let you know when it is safe to use approved portable electronic devices. A list of approved portable electronic devices may be found in the Sky Magazine located in the seat-back pocket in front of you.
Minutes after that it was a repeat of BOTH previous announcements in some form or fashion…
And once again ladies and gentlemen…
Except this time we were five minutes until an on-time departure. I bet he said the full name of the Atlanta airport at least five times before we took off. Plus the requisite…
Prior to aircraft movement, all passengers must in their seats with seatbelts securely fastened, and baggage stowed, seat backs and tray tables in their fully locked and upright position. Window shades need to be open, and all electronic devices need to be placed in the off position and stowed for takeoff. Flight attendants will be coming through the aisles to answer any questions you may have and then must be seated for taxi and takeoff. Thank you and welcome on board.
Meanwhile, I’m in the window seat on the three-seat side, watching the plane fill up. And still the two seats beside me remained empty. Imagine my delight when they remained so after the boarding door was closed.
I moved to the aisle seat and stretched out. [Membership has its privileges.] Of course the closing of the boarding door triggers yet another announcement. Albeit it a short one, and sans fruit references.
Moments later as we push back from the gate, the safety stuff starts. All passengers are asked to pay close attention, even if we are frequent fliers.
No.
Because the chances are high that if a substantial change (in the design, function, or operation of the aircraft in general, or any component therein of which it was necessary for me to have carnal knowledge) had transpired since I last flew, an announcement would contain words unfamiliar, and my ears would pick it up right away.
Otherwise, paying attention is not going to result in any additional new information for my brain relative to the safety procedures or mine or your responsibilities on board this aircraft at any time. I am well aware of the location of the exits, and that the closest one may be behind me. I know how to operate a seat belt. I know where the life jackets are and how to use them. I know I cannot smoke anywhere on the plane. I know what I can, and cannot place in the on position while on board. I know where the seat-back pocket is. I know the Sky Magazine is mine to take with me if I wish. I know that if my Sky magazine has been written in, that I can ask a flight attendant for another one. I know where the passenger service unit is. I know how to operate the lights, the air vent, the flight attendant call button, and to press it again if I hit it by mistake, and that will turn it off. I know that the air bag may not fully inflate, and I know not to touch the dispensing unit.
Like fucking Pavlov’s dog I respond to the dings and bells and the landing gear going up and down. Your unnecessary verbosity and gross misuse of the English language perplex and annoy me.
Seems to me you could say one time, once everyone is on board, in a clear, deliberate voice what flight we are on and where we are going. Use the entire name of the airport if you feel you must, but really, once is enough.
For those that feel the insatiable urge to tell us where we are going [once again ladies and gentlemen], after we are already in the air, then in the name of all that is good and succinct, the city will suffice. Save syllables (Atlanta and Cincinnati both come to mind) and use your breath on more important matters, like pronouncing the city right.
And. Please. Stop. Starting. Every. Sentence. With. And.
Take a cue from Dave Matthews. “Hello again.” Then get on with it.
Here, or wherever your final destination may take you.
See. I let one song out and another one came in.
Thanks, Dave.
Posted by Angela Tanner at 06:19 PM | Comments (0)
January 08, 2009
Guam - Where America's Day Begins
Hafa adai is (apparently) the greeting here in Guam. I've only heard it pronounced one time though, and it sounded like "half a day." Everyone just seems to speak English.
Not that I mind.
So the flight to Detroit from home was on time, and in fact a little early. I made my way to my next gate and they were already boarding. Thanks to elite status I got to bypass the 300 people waiting in line and go right onto the plane. My seat was on the second floor of the plane. The very quiet second floor.
My seatmate was a woman whose shirt was about 15 times too small for her, such that every time she moved, which was very often, mostly to play with the buttons that control the position of the seat, both her tramp stamp and extreme stretch marks were there on display for me.
So I watched movies and drank Baileys until I fell asleep.
When we landed and got off the plane, the cleaning crew was already standing there in the jetway (no surprise - this is Japan), immaculately dressed, all smiling, and all greeting the passengers with a bow.
I went through customs and wandered through the shops for the two hours I had to wait. The flight to Guam was also on time, and took about three hours. I was wide awake when we landed. Customs here took about three seconds. I got my rental car and a map, found my way to the hotel, and went to bed.
Monday morning I got up, hit the coffee shop in the lobby, then went out and explored a bit. I sent a message to Shea telling her it was like an English Bonaire - 85 degrees all the time, beautiful breezes, and really friendly people.
Much like landing in Anchorage several years ago, it's odd to be on a plane for that long and see "Welcome to the United States" signs. But then one sees KFC, McDonalds, Ruby Tuesday, Outback, Ross, KMart, and Pizza Hut. Down in the Galleria area is a whole strip of upscale shops - Fendi, Cole Haan, Coach, Chanel, etc. I didn't stop to do any shopping - a) I don't like to shop and b) there is not a single thing on earth that I need, and c) if I did shop I would be drawn like a magnet to bags and luggage, and I absolutely don't need the temptation of that.
(See previous post about my baggage problem.)
There are tattoo shops all over the island. I didn't decide on one until yesterday afternoon, so I stopped in, and made an appointment for tonight. Size, color, location and design having thus been decided, I'll post a picture when I get home.
I've got today to explore around some more, so now that I've had my coffee and balcony time, I'm going to get in the shower and head out. With any luck I'll be able to avoid the tractor beam that is the LeSportSac shop in the lobby.
Posted by Angela Tanner at 07:34 PM | Comments (0)
January 03, 2009
Hello, 72H
Actually, I came across that last night, but had far too many other irons in the fire to open a window here.
But I laughed out loud to myself anyway. When I got to the part about passengers being charged for each piece of luggage sitting in their closet, I almost spit out my tea.
Because I have a baggage problem. Bags and bags of bags, stuffed inside other bags, zipped into cases, and then put inside bigger bags.
But since I don't check bags, the airlines don't make any extra money on me for that. And since I fly Delta 98% of the time, they would let me check up to three bags for free.
If I checked bags. But I don't. Thanks to wool, UnderArmour, and business casual, I can fit 10 days of clothes and shoes into one 22" wheeled suitcase.
Everything else goes in the backpack.
Just in case you were curious.
Speaking of the backpack, it's sitting on the chair next to the table awaiting it's turn to be packed. I've got a couple of hours before I have to be out the door. I go from here to Detroit, to Nagoya, to Guam, arriving at about one in the morning local time Monday.
The trips back and forth to the west coast were obviously just warm up laps.
Not that I haven't made trips like this before. And longer ones at that. The flight to Japan is less than 14 hours. New York to Johannesburg was 17 and a half hours one leg.
In other news I think I have decided on the size, shape, structure, color, and approximate location of the next tattoo. Subject to change without notice, of course.
So anyway, I was appreciating satire last night, and had the TV on. There was a movie called The Wedding Date. (No surprise I have not seen it before.) The lady and her date are meeting for the first time on an airplane, and the flight attendant says in a sultry voice, "well hello 3B."
I travel too much to not repeatedly ponder my seatmates. Generally the pondring is proportionate to the length of the flight, and includes a destination multiplier.
Although there have been one or two times when the math totally didn't add up.
I was on a short flight from Lansing, Michigan to Chicago. When I got on the plane, I looked down the rows to find my seatmate already seated. I'll just say he was cute, and move on. Because he was also charming, and friendly, and, like me, had some time to spare in Chicago, so we went and had drinks. (Ask me if I like Southern Comfort and 7-Up.)
It's nice when it happens. But more often than not, I don't talk to people when I travel. I used to. When I was young and naive.
Remind me to tell you about this one trip to New Orleans. No time now. Time to get in the shower and pack my (two) bags.
Posted by Angela Tanner at 07:20 AM | Comments (0)
November 13, 2008
Is 6:30 PM Too Early For Bed?
That's the question my body has been asking every night this week. (I'm on the west coast.)
Monday, the answer was no, it's not too early.
Tuesday I managed to stay awake until almost 7:00 PM local time.
Last night I made it until almost 7:30 PM.
Tonight, the hotel I'm staying at is having some sort of event. When I checked in on Sunday (well, early Monday morning - my plane landed after midnight) in my key pack was a parking permit for tonight. One of the folks in my class (also staying at this hotel) was asking during lunch one day if anyone knew what this "event" was.
The answer was a pretty funny one - they called it "Grab a Grandma."
It seems the hotel hosts a party type thing that attracts folks of a certain age, who come here for free booze and to hook up with other folks of a certain age.
My room happens to be on the first floor, and I have a patio outside that overlooks the pool area where said festivities are scheduled to start in about an hour.
Which is 7:00 PM local time.
You can do the math.
Posted by Angela Tanner at 08:53 PM | Comments (0)